TMNT Marathon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987): Yikes, this has not aged well

And already from that title, some will see it as going from insulting one original generation of fans to another. Well, let's just hope that some will actually let me explain myself. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, something that continues to linger around in pop culture, and one that will try everything it can to get your money, even if it makes absolutely no sense for it too. No joke, I've seen TMNT Transformers, and some of those old toy commercials for them make you go "what were they smoking when they designed that?". I won't lie, I was into the Turtles as a kid, not from this series, but from the next one in the Marathon because funnily enough, in research for this marathon, there haven't actually been many different TV shows, just that those shows last a really long time. With the turtles joining the roster in Injustice 2 soon, let's see how they've faired over the years, starting with the original series. And before anyone asks, no, I'm not reviewing the Bay Movies in this marathon.

For this, I am reviewing the first five episodes, also known as the first season because someone didn't get the memo that a season is generally longer then 5 episodes. In fact, all 10 seasons and a "side season" have really sporadic lengths. The last three are 8 episodes long while S3 has 47? On the plus side, the events in these five episodes are like that of Darkness Rising from Transformers Prime, as its one long arc. However, unlike TF: Prime, the scent of "BUY OUR TOYS!!!" is not so much a scent, but a solidified block of gas that is swung around like a wrecking ball constantly slamming into your face. To call the marketing side of this blunt would be selling it short by a wide margin. I could easily compare it to last year's sledgehammer after sledgehammer of game developers trying to get people to buy Loot boxes. I will admit that this is an issue for me and while yes the argument could be made that "you like transformers, you're a hypocrite", I'd argue that even G1 did have more of a feel of "we're trying to mask the fact we're selling toys slightly", but that's down to personal opinion.

To get to the story of this arc, and something tells me that this isn't going to be the only time I bring it up, while running away from a gang of thugs, April O'Neil is rescued by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello, named after Hamato Yoshi's favorite Renaissance painters, who after coming in contact with a mutagen from their main villain, The Shredder, mutated into more humanoid forms while Yoshi became a half human, half rat by the name of Master Splinter. Splinter raised the Turtles to be ninjas and on learning that Shredder is causing chaos in the city, tasks the Turtles to stop him, his army of robot ninjas, army of robotic mouse traps, two other mutants in the form of Bebop and Rocksteady (primarily), Krang and his ultimate base: The Technodrome. See why I started with that marketing thing first? When broken down, the story itself is pretty basic, like any normal cartoon, nothing really special about it other than the coating for the franchise. So long as you're fine with "BUY OUR TOYS!!!" being bashed into your head, you'll be fine.

The characters though, they are why the show hasn't aged well. They're all token character traits and, at least for now, I don't find them interesting characters. I say for now because I hope that an extra 10 seasons would provide character development in some form. Leo (I'm not going to use their full names all the time) is your token stick in the mud leader, Raph I will admit I do enjoy because while the intro makes him out to be the rebel of the group, he's more of a smart ass than anything which I honestly find entertaining, Micky is your generic comedic character and really hammers home the surfer bro trait the four of them are known for and Donnie's well, the tech head trope. Shredder is a token bad guy, April's the token girl, Shredder's the token "old and wise master". As a result, it feels all "been there, done that", at least for me. I will admit that it might be because I'm 22, so I have been there, and have done that, and seen it in other shows before. If that's vague memories of the TMNT show I grew up with though, I honestly can't give an answer at least at time of writing.

I'll give credit where its due, the animation, and sound design is solid for a kids cartoon. Nothing spectacular, but there is effort put into it. The intro though... sucks. I hate the intro of the show, it goes on way too long, it exists to drive home the "this is what makes these characters different" thing which is what the show should be doing in the story, and does, trust me, you won't forget the differences thanks to that solid block of gas that is the marketing. The animation though is a lot smoother compared to the other shows of the 80's I've seen for the site. It still looks clunky in fight scenes, but in general movement, it works.

If you're looking for an embodiment of 80's cartoons, this is it. For better or for worse, this is the 80's kids cartoon all in one package. If you can survive that, then you may find enjoyment in the show. But if you are one of those that try to stay away from the 80's whenever possible, trust me, stay away. Next up in the marathon will be a look at the 2003 reboot, but before then (hopefully), a podcast looking back on 2017.