As you may have noticed if you've been paying attention to this site, horror's not really something I gravitate towards. Is it because I get scared easily? Not really, I'm that one jerk who laughs at scary things if I know they're not real. Combine that with Haloween not being a big thing here, and hopefully, that explains why Haloween isn't a big thing here. However, I will try, I will make a conscious effort to do something scary when I can! I may look to Twitter to help... and that's why instead of Saw, we're doing Children of the Corn... Does this count as progress?
I should note that this isn't a critique of the book, this is a critique of the film. If issues are shared between them, I don't know, all I am reviewing is the film adaption and... I hope the book is better because this is laughably bad. After a corn harvest fails in a Nebraskan town, a child by the name of Issac Chroner indoctrinates almost all of the children into a cult that worships “He Who Walks Behind the Rows”, then getting the new cult to kill all the adults in the town, using them as human sacrifices. Somehow this cult controls the town for three years (let's ignore all the problems that would cause), until our protagonists of the film, Vicky and Burt, travel through the town, unintentionally sparked by running a kid over. Their exploration of the town leads to finding the two kids not indoctrinated in the cult, while also finding a church where a teenage girl is drinking the blood of her, soon to die, boyfriend cause he's now 19. You can imagine how well this went for them as the two protagonists are also legal adults. If your answer was "killed on sight", you'd be sadly mistaken. Vicky is taken into the cornfields to be sacrificed, and Burt goes to try and rescue her, but infighting inside the cult has led to Issac being killed by his followers, been possessed by "He Who Walks Behind the Rows", and now in order to stop the false god, Burt, Vicky, and the two not indoctrinated children must burn the cornfield, probably killing all the kids within it along with the demon. A happy ending all around? Is it clear that I find this dumb? Don't get me wrong, evil kids are a good premise for a story, but a lot of this feels half-assed at best, though a part of it comes from the presentation.
Just because there is a real term for a fear of corn, doesn't mean that corn's scary! That alone should tell you all that you need to know about the presentation. It tries to be scary, but it just ends up being funny for all the wrong reasons. I find it funny that they cast Linda Hamilton as the female lead and eventual damsel in distress. Why? Her most well-known role is that she was Sarah Connor in the Terminator films, so I find it funny that they didn't take that and roll with it. I don't find Issac intimidating at all, but love every scene he's in cause he just owns the stupidity of the situation, running with it and letting it be a really hammed up performance. I don't find the kids scary, but it's clear that all of them are enjoying the fact that they're here and giving it there all, especially one kid who was on screen for a few seconds, yet's so rememberable due to how he chased after Burt. There isn't a lot about this film that's objectively good (though like I said, the cast do a good job), but it's so bad that it becomes good for all the wrong reasons. I can't recommend this as a good horror film, but for a laughable "trying to be scary" horror film, it's worth a watch. Sprry that there's not much more to say, but I'll have something with more meat on it next week. I'll just need some help for it.
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